Worst Christmas Cracker Jokes

Worst Christmas Cracker Jokes

The Christmas cracker is a staple part of the big dinner on December 25th. The items are always bizarre and the paper crowns don’t really fit our heads right. Yet, we wouldn’t change them for the world. Some love them, others hate them, but there’s no denying that Christmas cracker jokes are in a league of their own. We looked at the jokes that actually made us laugh here, but now let’s look at those that may not go down as well. Here are some of the worst Christmas cracker jokes. 

What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head. 

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. 

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles. 

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis. 

Why is Rudolf always wet? Because he’s a reindeer. 

What did the vegetarian EU supporter want for Christmas? Lettuce romaine. 

How does Santa keep track of all of the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook. 

What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper. 

What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we’ll go places. 

What is Good King Wenceslas favourite pizza? One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even. 

What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season.

What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful.

How does Christmas Day always end? With the letter Y!

What type of key do you need for a Nativity play? A don-key. 

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Santa going through a revolving door. 

What is a child’s favourite king at Christmas? A stocking.

What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backwards. 

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? Mistle-toad. 

What’s yellow and dangerous? Shark-infested custard. 

Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance? They have two left feet. 

What goes ha ha ha clonk? A man laughing his head off. 

How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side.

Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? No well, no well!

What are the best Christmas sweaters made from? Fleece Navidad. 

We would love to know who writes these cracker jokes. Well, what did you think? Are they awful, or did you have a little chuckle? Let us know down in the comments if you have any better (or worse) jokes.

Leave a Reply